CANADIAN ICONS I HAVE LOVED

David Cronenberg stuffs frozen peas up his nose while being spanked.
Atom Egoyan murmers the word “elliptical” over and over while fingering his nipples.
Anne Murray is a furvert.
Don Cherry likes to play “Zamboni and the Dirty Ice”.
Peter Mansbridge loves to be tied up with his Holt Renfrew neckties.
Gordon Lightfoot wears a cloth diaper and sucks on a pacifier but
only when he sings “Rainy Day People”.
George Strombolopoulous wears fishnet stockings.
Margaret Atwood is a necrophiliac.
Wendy Mesley is a top.
Knowlton Nash is a bottom.
Justin Trudeau owns a full set of equestrian gear.
Right now, Stephen Harper is sucking on the toe of
Sonja Smit's stilletto boot
while she sings a rousing rendition of
“Oh Canada”!.